to brother theo
It may be feverishness, or nerves, or something else, I don't know, but I don't feel well. Perhaps I am thinking more than is necessary . . . . I have an uneasy feeling I can't shake off, though I have tried to overcome it.
For I do not know how long I shall be able to hold out. Things are getting too much for me. I feel my strength failing. I tell you plainly that under such circumstances, I am afraid I shall never hold out.
The world concerns me only insofar as I feel a certain indebtedness and duty toward it because I have walked this earth for thirty years . . . .